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Tag Archives: baseball

Thought #1 I’m pretty sure 49er’s head coach Mike Singletary made Dre Bly cry yesterday. Over the weekend Bly got stripped of the ball while trying to break out some 1995 Deion Sanders moves. Following the game, which was a lose to the Falcons, Bly didn’t seem very sorry, in fact he pretty much just said he likes to have fun, so what? By Monday Bly had done a sweet 180 by the time he held a press conference apology. So what happen exactly? Pretty sure the same thing that happened every time your mom told you to just wait until you Dad came home. You remember those days. You’d been Hell to deal with all day, threw a fit in the grocery store when she wouldn’t buy you that Ninja Turtle pie, (you know, the one with the green ooze in it), spent all afternoon playing Contra, and successfully chewed, and spit out, every piece of gum you could swipe from her purse. When she said,”just wait till your father gets home.” You laughed, “ha I don’t.” Two hours and one a bright red butt later you showed quite a bit more remorse. Pretty sure that’s what Dre just went through, Papa Singletary took off his belt and suddenly dancing wasn’t so much fun. Easy Dre, suck up those tears or he’ll give you something to cry about.

Thought #2 – NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has come out and said they MAY punish Raiders’ head coach Tom Cable for breaking an assistants jaw while threatening to murder him. Ah, I see how this works. Coaches and players always have different rules I suppose. I mean didn’t they when you were in school? Didn’t your pack an hour football coach warn you of the dangers of smoking? Didn’t your baseball coach accidentally get dip spit on you when ranting about how you weren’t allowed to chew? And didn’t your basketball coach forbid going out to the after party while secretly, or so he thought, sipping vodka from a coke can? Yeah Goodell you MIGHT want to step in when one of your coaching is tossing his staff around like they were wrestling buddies. You MIGHT want to say something to a team of a franchise, albeit an awful one, who is dropping first degree threats on guys. MAYBE, just MAYBE take a look at this.

Thought #3 – The Golden State Warriors have asked Steven Jackson to relinquish his title as captain after getting in an outburst in Friday nights game against the Lakers. Question: How bad does your team have to be for Steven Jackson to carry the “C” for your guys? I guess the answer is “as bad as the Warriors,’ but still this seems like a stretch. You’re talking about a career 15 and 6 guy, who’s constantly shipped around, and looks like he should be doing local commercials for some low budget personal injury lawyer. Please tell just drew names out of Don Nelson’s hat for this.

Thought #4 – Chad Henne played great last night. And now for a weeks worth of coverage stating Henne as the next Marino. As my friend Nick pointed out to me today, Henne will be completely over hyped for the next week or so in a very Romo-like fashion. I agree, until further notice he’s on “flash in the pan” status in my book. Let’s just hope he can milk a b list celebrity date or two out of it before he fizzles out.

Thought #5 – The NFL trade deadline is in one week and Brady Quinn’s name keeps popping up. The latest team interested seems to be the Raiders. Pretty sure if I was Brady I would sooner just work at the student center back at Notre Dame, but that’s up to him. On the other hand, it would probably benefit JaMarcus Russel to see a quarterback who actually uses the equipment in the weight room for something besides a bench to sit on during his daily pancake power hour.

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Thought #1 – Hobos around the world spent this weekend mourning the wasteful lose of hundreds of gallons of booze as 3 of the four MLB playoff series wrapped up. The Dodgers, Angels, and Yankees all swept their respective opponents over the weekend and then proceeded to jump around, hug each other, and shower themselves with various types of alcohol 13483518so much so that I wondered if I was watching a team who just won a first round playoff series or a Real World Miami reunion, oh Tek-Money what ever happened to you. Seriously though, doesn’t this seem to be a little much? I mean a week ago the same celebrations went down for simply making the playoffs, you’ve barely had enough time to sober up. And what exactly are you celebrating? Making to the next round? Show me the ring you get for that. I’m pretty sure I didn’t see the Celtics going Animal House on themselves last year when they beat the Bulls. Also don’t remember the Steelers popping corks after beating the Chargers last year. Listen, its good to be happy, its good to celebrate, but just like my 8th grade football coach used to tell guys when they scored touchdowns, act like you’ve been there before. So Major League Baseball, act like you’ve been there before, which by the way, you were last weekend.

Thought #2 – Why on earth is the MLB against replay? Two plays were horribly miscalled this weekend, both of which could have very quickly been reversed with a simple replay system. Are we still playing that “human error adds to the purity of the game” card here? How exactly does getting calls wrong make things pure? I mean doesn’t it make it kind of worse seeing how a guy like me can sit on his couch a thousand miles away and watch your professional umpires blatant mistakes over and over? That’s like saying we shouldn’t have an appeals process because it ruins the purity of our court system, ridiculous. The other argument is that it will slow down the game. You’re right baseball, Heaven forbid that a baseball game last 4 hours and 10 minutes instead of just the normal 4 hours. Pretty sure if I can tell in about 30 seconds that a call is wrong, a pro should be able to as well. Plus, am I supposed to feel good, even when my team loses on a bad call, just because I got to crash a half hour earlier or catch the last 15 minutes of CSI? Come on baseball, show a little effort here.

Thought #3 – If you are a struggling NFL team you know what you need to get? Some former Chicago Bears. Chicago is apparently playing the role of the set up man in the NFL these days, priming players, letting them sow their wild oats, and then shipping them off to get hitched by the next pretty thing that gives them a look. Kyle Orton threw for over 300 yards and two touchdowns against the Pats, while fellow former Bear and party boat expert Cedric Benson became to first back to put up a hundred years on the Ravens defense. All I can say is that I really hope the Redskins make a push to get Devin Hester.

Thought #4 – I know West Virginia fans have their own post-game celebration of burning large amounts of furniture, and while I don’t really get it, it’s your deal so I let it go. Now as for your pregame routine, I believe some of you alumni are taking it a bit to far. Hopefully by now you saw former Moutaineer fullback Owen Schmitt go WWE on his own head before the game Sunday. The guy looked like he had just come out of a cage match with Ric Flair, and this was before a single snap. Nice WVU alum, way to represent. Now enjoy watching your laz-e-boy go up in flames.

Quick NFL thoughts: The Broncos and Bengals are more legit than we thought. The Pats and Cowboys aren’t. Tom Brady is very worried about his knee. A Manning verses Manning Super Bowl is very likely, and I’m pretty sure Mike Singletary made Dre Bly cry, more on that later.

Thought #1 – Lebron owns the city of Cleveland, and Braylon Edwards, you are no longer welcome there. How fast was the turn around on this? What was it all of 24 hours after getting into it with one of the King’s friends that Edwards is shipped off to the Jets? That’s got to be some kind of a record. I guess its official though, Lebron is the one good thing that city has going for it sports wise and the heck if they are going to let a guy who dropped 39 balls last year mess that up. Now Lebron, what can you do about Mangini?

Thought #2 – The best part of that whole exchange, which I should have guessed it would be, was Rex Ryan’s interview. Rex stressed that Braylon would be able to relax and have a good time as a Jet and that would really help him out on the field. So wait, dude has slide in two years from one of the best receivers to a guy who could barely catch the swine flu if he was trapped in a suana with the Ole Miss football team, is currently under investigation for a bar fight, and your main concern is him relax and having a good time? I think if I was you, my main concern would be getting my hands on some of that gunk Orlando Jones had all over his hands in the Replacements not making sure Braylon knows how to relax, pretty sure he’s been doing a darn good job of that in Cleveland for a while now.

Thought #3 – When all else fails, M.C. Hammer will come and bail you out. This year’s biggest rookie hold out, Michael Crabtree, finally signed with the 49ers this morning thanks to a little help from a guy in some sweet golden parachute pants. Maybe he was finally able to make it clear to Crabtree that no play = no pay, and with the possibility of a hold out in the near future it could be quite some time for Mike got another chance at a pay check. Head Coach Mike Singletary said it was a “fair deal” for both sides, while Hammer simply said “you got to pray just to make it today.” I really hope Hammer showed up to that meeting with the giant golden “H” chain on and the sports coat with the giant shoulder pads in it. Nothing says you mean business like that.p1_sanders

Thought #4- Speaking of gold chains and former rap “stars,”  apparently hanging out with Deion Sanders isn’t as cool as it used to be. Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Bryant has been ruled ineligible for this season after lying about going to Sanders home and working out with him. That’s embarrassing Prime Time. Dez basically just gave you a pity jog, then denied it. Yup, you’re officially that old guy at the rec, trying to slide in and lift with the young guys from local high school, mean while creeping all the high school girls out by being a little helpful in your demonstration of proper squat techniques. Granted, Dez shouldn’t have lied about spending time with you, but he was still in the running for homecoming court at that point, so I understand where he was coming from.

Thought #5 – Pod cast tomorrow hopefully. A look back, a look ahead, and we’ll pitch the suggestions from shoes. Will Karl’s L.A. Lights make a run? Or will it be Shawn Kemp’s Reebok? We shall see.

Labor Day is one of those days that you think, man I could get a lot done today. But then you realize that everything you need to do is closed and everyone you need to talk to about getting something done is doing something far cooler than you. So, I figured I might as well pass on a few thoughts from the Porch.

Thought #1 – One sure fire way to get in trouble is to hang out with people who have the same name as types of liquor. What exactly happened between Shawne Merriman and Ms. Tequila is irrelevant, the bottom line is that Shawne should be punished for choosing his friends poorly. Seriously when is the last time someone got locked up while hanging with a nurse or librarian down at Starbucks? If I’m in the NFL, making bank, the weekend before the season starts I’m steering my social agenda clear of all sketchy ex MTV personalities. (yes this does include you Pauly Shore.) Apparently Ms. Tequila performed a citizen’s arrest on Merriman. So T went Barney Fife on him, I didn’t even know that was a real thing. With that said, I can’t wait to throw down a citizen’s arrest on my neighbor the next time I hear a 2am love song blasting through my wall.

Thought #2 – Nascar and Baseball need to get something straight, after August, we don’t really care that much about you. Pretty sure the highest rated baseball games in the past month have been the little league world series, and I have no idea about Nascar. I enjoy both the sports, but seriously once football starts on the college and pro level, I just don’t have room for it. Shorten the season, maximize your audience and end your season with the end of summer. Can you image how many more people would tune in for a labor day championship race or world series opposed to one in November? Granted Baseball doesn’t have as much of a luke warm feeling as Nascar does in the fall, but still, watching guys bundle up for the series doesn’t exactly mix with the whole idea of the “boys of summer.” Maybe baseball could make it till Sept. but really I can’t tell you the last time I tuned in to a race on a Sunday afternoon in the fall instead of watching any NFL game. Plus, how can a serious nascar fan really enjoy sitting at a race without a shirt on and pounded a bucket of fried chicken when its in the 50’s? I mean half the fun of the race is that sweet combination of getting greasy and sweaty at the same time, right?

Thought #3 – I wish a crowd cheered when I walked into rooms like they do when people enter the room on sit coms. That would be sweet. Oh and also add in there the ooooo whenever a kiss or something semi risque happens. That would really make my life better.